Chocolate Eclair
by Poplarmonster
Summary: [Birthday fic for WishingStarr] The strangest thing was that he was splattered with chocolate frosting.


**Name: Chocolate Éclair**

**Rating: T**

**Pairing: Snarry! Severus Snape/Harry Potter**

**Summary: The strangest thing was that he was splattered with chocolate frosting **

**Notes: Slight implocations, but nothing too bad. A tad bit OOCness, but nothing too major. **

Hermione Granger trudged up the back stairwell of a large apartment complex, cursing her friend's desire to live on the top floor. It had been a long day and she just wanted to visit said friend, Harry Potter, and perhaps chat about the day over some expertly made cappuchinos at the cafe just down the street from the complex.

She stopped to catch her breath at the top of the stairs, wondering for the fifth time why the building didn't have a goddamn elevator. Apparently the landlord must believe in exercise or something. Hermione thought it was just too cruel.

She pushed off of the dusty wall and strode down the hallway, amazed at how brown and shabby looking it was even on the top floor. Because of his past achievements, Harry Potter was simply rolling in money, though why he chose to live in the penthouse of a run-down complex in a town next to the middle of nowhere was beyond her.

She finally approached the door and gave a loud knock. She waited patiently and thought about her upcoming date with her other best friend, Ron Weasley. Okay, so they were more than best friends, and she had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to propose sometime soon. She frowned when she realized that no one was answering the door and knocked again, trying to be louder. She was so sure that Harry was home.

When he finally answered the door, she opened her mouth in shock and turned three shades of red followed by three shades of white.

Harry was standing there, in all his glory, in only boxers. His hair was ruffled even more than usual, as if someone had been playing with it. The strangest thing was that he was splattered with chocolate frosting; most notably a handprint on his chest and the word "mine" had been scrawled across his stomach, although part of the word looked as if it were licked off.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to go to the café and talk for a bit, but I can see you're busy…" she said slowly after a few minutes. It really was a shock to see normally composed Harry looking like this.

"Yea…" he grinned and scratched the back of his head, tangling chocolate with raven locks.

"The mysterious boyfriend you won't tell me about?" she asked, smirking. It hadn't been a big bolt from the blue to find out Harry was gay, in fact she had been suspecting for some time before he broke the news to her. She also knew there was a boyfriend, and she had deduced this fact from her own boyfriend's lecherous smirks that he sent Harry's way whenever the subject of going out was brought up.

Before Harry could answer a deep voice came form the general area of the bedroom, calling him. It was a voice Hermione knew all too well, as it had called her a 'know-it-all' in a disapproving manner whenever she tried raising her hand in class.

"Oh Harry, my little chocolate éclair, just tell them we're busy and to come back later. I'm hungry, and I don't think the chocolate will last long to serve my appetite," the voice cooed. Hermione reached a new shade of white and was gaping like a fish.

Harry just nervously shrugged and quietly said, "Um, well we're busy, but maybe we can get together if you come by tomorrow?"

Hermione still wasn't over the shock of hearing her old professor speak in such a manner, and especially him calling Harry 'his little chocolate éclair.' She nodded dumbly, mouth still open in disbelief.

She must have stared at the closed door for at least twenty minutes before deciding to leave. The decision was fueled when she heard a rather large groan coming form the apartment. Apparently the walls weren't very thick.

Walking, more like jogging, down the dusty stairwell, Hermione thought up the exact questions she would use against Ron in demanding why he forgot to mention the fact that Harry was sleeping with their old potions master, Severus Snape.

Another smirk graced her features as she thought of the teasing that would ensue once she told Ron about the chocolate frosting. Oh yes, revenge for the trauma she was going through at discovering her friend's choice of a bed mate would be sweet, sweeter than the chocolate frosting adorning said friend that had probably been licked off by now.

**Happy Birthday Lauren! Okay so I was going to post a really depressing Snarry, but this idea came to me and I went with it. Short and sweet, and Ihope it made you laugh. It sure made me laugh when I was writing it. Perhaps I'll write a companion piece of Ron's teasing of Harry. Anyway, have a Happy Birthday, Ciao! **


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